I think we can all agree that 2020 was unlike any other year we’ve seen. But hopefully, you were able to find some joy over the holidays. I was.
I took a couple of weeks off from work so that I could come back in 2021 refreshed and renewed. If I’m being honest, the time off wasn’t quite as relaxing as I had hoped – they never are, are they? But it was a nice break.
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The Holidays Can Be Weird For Stepmoms
I don’t know about you, but even as much as I love the holidays, there is a little part of me that dreads them also.
There can be so many complicating factors for stepmoms during the holiday season. Do you have the kids for the holidays? How are you handling gifts? Do you have to coordinate with the other house?
Maybe this is all new for you and you’re wondering about your place in your new family over the holidays. Trying to figure out holiday traditions and how to make the holidays special for your stepkids.
Maybe you’re not sure how to handle the whole holiday card thing. Or trying to figure out where you fit into the picture.
Know that whatever you are feeling is okay. Lord knows that I’ve had some complicated holidays of my own.
This year, my husband Craig and I were all alone for Christmas. It was the first time we haven’t had any family whatsoever around. And we struggled a little bit to figure out what that should look like.
We talked about making a big Christmas Eve dinner, which has been my tradition for years. Or a Christmas Day brunch. But Craig reminded me that this is a crazy year and we don’t have to be constrained by tradition.
So guess what? We didn’t even get a tree. Can you believe it?
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We did decorate the outside of the house. I did get all my holiday mugs out. (If you follow me on social media, you know I love my mug collection.) But other than that, we went decidedly low key.
And I was surprised at how little it bothered me.
So Let’s Talk About The New Year. And Resolutions.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve always made new year’s resolutions. Except I’m pretty TERRIBLE at keeping them. Like I am not sure I’ve ever had one that has stuck more than a week or two. At most.
In a blog article, James Clear (author of Atomic Habits – which, on a side note, is a fantastic book to check out for the new year) shares reasons why habits don’t always stick and says:
“New goals don’t deliver new results. New lifestyles do. And a lifestyle is not an outcome, it is a process. For this reason, all of your energy should go into building better rituals, not chasing better results.”
I love the idea of building better rituals instead of chasing results. So I decided to try a new way of approaching the new year. One that perhaps would set me up to succeed, not fail.
Word Of The Year
This year I’m hopping on the “word” train. And by that, I mean the trend that’s become more and more popular in the last few years of designating a word for the year. Something that is more than a resolution, and that you can actually live into.
So – my word for 2021 . . .
MY WORD IS “MOMENTUM”
Okay, so what does “Momentum” even mean for 2021?
As I reflected, 2020 was a terrible year, but not everything was bad.
I made some huge progress in this business. In the last year, I’ve connected with so many stepmoms and have had real breakthroughs in helping many of you deal with truly complicated issues.
Knowing that I’m helping other stepmoms has been a real bright spot.
I’ve also made progress in understanding myself and my own dynamic. I’ve worked hard to accept my own shortcomings, those of others, and to learn to communicate better with the people in my life.
I realized that what I want to do in 2021 is BUILD. GROW. Take the progress I made last year in every area of my life, however big or small it was, and build on it.
So – momentum. I want to build on the momentum that began in 2020, and gain even more this year.
In every area.
Personally: I need to build on the self-care I’ve started in the last couple of years. Because I’m no good to anyone else if I’m not taking care of myself. What does that look like? Making sure I am in a good place both mentally and physically.
Professionally: In my day job, I have always sought space to grow. I’ve been lucky that I’ve worked for supportive bosses who have encouraged me to take opportunities to learn when they are presented. So I’m going to continue that practice this year.
And in this space: I mentioned that I love being able to help other stepmoms and I mean that. When I became a stepmom, it was hard to find resources and good advice. I felt very alone. Going through that is what inspired me to help other stepmoms.
So please know that you are seen. I see you. You work hard. You struggle at times. And you wonder if you were really cut out for this.
I’ve been you, and I am you. And I want to help you.
As I build my momentum, I’ve got some amazing things in store for you this year. If you want to be sure you’re in the loop, head HERE and make sure you’re getting my updates. And when you do, I’ll send you a free sneak peek!
Growth. Building. Momentum.
We can’t do much worse than 2020. But if we can build on the good things that happened last year, then 2021 can be much, much better!
P.S. Have you tuned in to The Stepmom Diaries podcast yet? Head over to Apple or wherever you listen to podcasts and check it out!