New Year, Same Stepmom Problems?
It’s that time again. To set our New Year’s resolutions, our words for the year, and plan all the things that we probably won’t stick to. But what does that mean for our same old stepmom problems?
Kicking 2021 To The Curb
If you’re anything like me, you’re probably not sorry to see 2021 draw to a close.
It’s wasn’t necessarily a horrible year (especially in comparison to 2020), but it doesn’t feel like it really delivered on all that we hoped it would. For us who live in the DC area, the first few days were business as usual. Until the January 6 riot at our nation’s capitol. And without getting political, but as someone who has worked in and around the U.S. Capitol for more than 20 years, it was an emotional start to the year.
We all thought this was the year the pandemic would subside and we would get back to “normal.” But that wasn’t the case either. In fact, we’re closing out the year once again with high case numbers around the country, schools considering virtual learning, and just as much (if not more) pandemic exhaustion as we had this time last year.
But all that’s going on in the world aside, when I think about what my goals were for the year, I feel pretty good about where I am.
You may or may not remember that my word for the year for 2021 was “momentum.” And setting that intention at the beginning of the year really did lay the groundwork for my year. I helped more stepmoms than ever before. I co-founded The Stepmom Summit with my friend Beth and we had more than 1,300 stepmoms join us for three days of interaction with the top blended family experts in the world. It was truly inspirational.
And little did we know at the time, the success of our summit laid the groundwork for us to partner up again to acquire Stepfamily Magazine in December. I am SO excited about what the future holds for This Custom Life, for the magazine – and for all the additional tools and experiences we’re going to be able to bring to stepmoms like you.
So – despite some of the doom and gloom of this past year, I feel pretty good about where I’m leaving things as the year closes out.
Which leads me to looking towards next year.
My Word For 2022
As I was thinking about my word for 2022, I was thinking again about the big goals I have for both my business and personal life. And it came to me almost immediately.
My word for 2022 is: Intention. As in, to approach all aspects of my life with intention.
The great part about this word is that it’s something I’m already pretty familiar with. Because if you’re a stepmom like me, you know that we already conduct most of our lives with intention, even when we don’t realize it.
Think about it.
We have to set about building a bond with our stepkids purposefully. In a way that biological parents don’t have to think about. We also have to be intentional about day-to-day things, like schedules and housing – because let’s face it. We aren’t always in control over when we can go on vacation or even where we can live.
And we certainly have to be intentional about our relationship with our partner. We have to make sure we take time with our spouse and that we don’t forget that the love we have for them is why we are stepmoms in the first place.
And last, but not least, we must be intentional about taking care of ourselves. It can be easy, especially for new stepmoms, to fall into the trap of putting yourself and your needs last. After all, you’re trying to build and bond with a new family. Build a life with your a new spouse. And probably doing it all while balancing work and life in general. Your needs often fall by the wayside.
When I was a new stepmom, my needs were the first thing I threw out the window. I could barely keep my head above water. Much less deal with the new stepmom problems. I just couldn’t see how I could take the time to take care of myself.
I don’t know about you, but I can only go on for so long like that. Luckily, when it happened to me, Craig recognized that I was struggling. And both then and now, he encourages me to do what I need to do to calm the chaos.
When I married Craig, I was an only child who had lived alone for ten years. Suffice to say that the noise level alone was new for me. So calming my crazy usually involves taking some alone time to get a little bit of quiet. Whether sitting in a pedicure chair reading, relaxing in a bath, or just having an afternoon to myself, I know that the quickest way for me to recharge is to take that time for me.
I hope that as you look forward you’ll think about what recharging is for you.
A Challenge To Help You Jumpstart Your New Year
If you aren’t sure what your “recharging” or taking care of yourself looks like – or if you know, but aren’t sure how to actually do it – I can help.
In the spirit of my word of the year, “intention,” I’ve created the 5-Day Stepmom Self-Care Challenge, a (FREE) daily challenge for you to celebrate this new year and embark on some self-care with intention. I built this challenge specifically to address the stepmom problems that I know many of you face. I know because I’ve heard from you. And I’ve been there, too. This challenge helped me and and I know it will help you, too.
You can sign up for the 5 Day Stepmom Self-Care Challenge HERE. And did I mention it’s FREE?
Take a few minutes a day for less than a week as you head into the new year to do something for you. You deserve it!
P.S. Have you joined The Stepmom Diaries yet? It’s my private, stepmoms-only Facebook group. Head over and join HERE!